thr goes darling bk to his camp again..

wondering when de next tiem i will c hin..

all alone again...

back from malaysia..

the trip to malaysia is fun.. but tiring..

shall update when free..


hai coming bk simply make me moody.. it jus remind me of my illness.. lonliness soon again...

today at work sux.. duno wad happening to me.. my mind jus nt in place.. argz..

n therefore i get poke my needle 2 time n cut by paper one time.. n one of the needle is from infection case.. well.. i use de needle on eqip.. hope thr is no blood on the equip.. hai..

n thr i go.. working with 3 plaster on my finger..

esp tt one tt is infection case one damn pain.. nid poke too hard.. argz..

hai..

cheryl is starting to close the door of hers to ppl .. she is trying not to.. but her tinking n heart jus start to close bit by bit.. she is scared wad she will do if she realli close..

cheryl tries to b happy n find someting interest.. but somehw.. thr isnt anyting tt is interesting to divert her attention.. n tt is one of the symptoms of depress "wad use to interest u.. doesnt seem to interest u anymore".. hai.. tryin all her means to divert her attention .. tts y she is slping so damn early when she gt nth do.. but she will wake up early too.. haiii..

god.. tell me wad to do.. plz..

cheryl is tryin to b happy..

but its jus so diff with her illness..

she hope she can slp.. but every night she had nightmare.. slpless for few day..

death occur in cheryl's mind alot alot of time.. n whenever she has the tot.. she will alway tell herself.. i cznt.. cox darling will be sad.. i miss cing him.. n each time tt tot occur i will tell myself i hav to live in order to c him once every wk.,..

cheryl hate her illness she reali hate.. esp when tings trigger off tt feeling.. esp when tings trigger off her emotion.. esp when ting trigger off her tense.. she would jus cry n cry non-stop..

cheryl feel so hard to control her emotion.. she jus hate it...

everytime when tings happen when her tense n her feeling come... she will find ppl.. making her feel tt she is nt alone.. but sometime finding ppl make her even feel worst..

i hate my illness i jus hate it.. no matter hw hard i try to control my emotion.. thr r tings sure trigger it off..

cheryl duno hw long her tinking.. her motivation will last .. she realli duno...

cryin like hell now.. but nw she wish to find no one.. n she hate ppl talkin sarcastically to her.. even though she knoew its her fault.. i jus hate my illness..

thr goes darling to field camp tmr.. slpless night...

tried to slp bk without tinking anyting.. but i jus feel so tense.. my heart jus pump so fast.. try to breathe in n out but i jus cant slp back..

off on sat wasted haii..

its so suffering.. i hate the feeling.. i wan to b okie.. i realli wan.. sometime i jus feel like dying.. i hate tt feeling...

i wan slp.. i realli wan ...

wake up cryin again today..

hw long more can i take it?

thr go darling to his field camp again from thurs to sat.. i was still very happy tt i got my sat off.. can meet darling go out play.. but now all the hopes r gone.. so wad i have my sat off.. darling bookin out at night.. sat all alone again..

n sun i m working afternoon.. n mon daring bookin in.. so wad i hav my sat off..

cheryl jus feel depress easily.. cox of her illness..

n recently she been having sleepless night.. no matter wad time she slp .. she jus will wake up at 5+ n she cant slp bk.. she will feel tense..

the med make her wanna puke.. losing her appetite.. i m so sick n tired of it..

missing my darling.. my sat is gone.. i wish i wun hav my sat off tis wk.. i wish i hav work.. to occupied myseld.. i wish i wish i wish....

happy 4th mth to my darling.... i m havin off..

i hate my illness.. cheryl realli feel suffering.. she is tryin to do everyting she can to occupied her mind..

but she jus cant concentrate on her work.. to the extend tt she even acc poke herself with needle.. hai...

WeLcome!~
enJoy uR sTAy hEre

* chEryL
* 09/09/1988

*lub...
-> dar...
-> all mY fRiendsssssssss...
-> yAngyaNg n mEh mEh

*haTE...
-> lIar
-> bAcksTabbEr

*... mY fRiEnd tO b hAppy ...*
*... MysElF tO bE happy ...*
*... gT alOt $ bUy ting ...*
*... reSult gdgd ...*

...dAr...=D
...vOn...
...sI...
...hAlkAl...

*yAng chOng by yAng zHOng wEi*

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